Confession. I prefer a female doctor. I've had female doctors since I was a teenager. My childhood doctor was a man, his name was Dr. Nice (isn't that cool.) I can still remember what his office waiting area looked like. The light-colored wooden shutters that framed the receptionist area. The ugly wallpaper. The antiseptic smell that mixed with something I now know as moth balls.
I never really minded going to the doctor. I'd gotten to know Dr. Nice pretty well when I was very little. When I'd been vaccinated for MMR I'd reacted badly to it. My Mom will tell you if you ask how freaked out she was when I started to convulse later that night, how the doctor made a house call to fix me up. After that I had to get my vaccinations in increments.
Well what child wants to get more shots? None. Certainly not me! But Dr. Nice had a way about him. He would give me a syringe without the needle and let me squirt water out of it. I thought that was the coolest thing. I remember bringing them into the bathtub with me later and squirting my Mom (sorry Mom.) He really was a great doctor. But...
I got my period when I was in fourth grade. I was the first of all of my classmates and it didn't take long before everyone knew. I remember my Mom took me to Dr. Nice because of my horrible cramps. By this time Dr. Nice was an old man, probably in his mid to late sixties. And here's me, shy and awkward, completely uncomfortable with even having a period. Plus I've been teased so much about it by my classmates the the whole thing feels like a curse. (I was still in the stage where I was so embarrassed I wouldn't even buy my own feminine products!) And now, to add to the humiliation, I have to go and talk to this old man about my period! I was mortified! I think even Dr. Nice was uncomfortable.
After that scaring experience I insisted on women doctors. Its not that getting naked on a table, clad only in a paper gown and blanket isn't embarrassing when your doctor is a woman, its just less uncomfortable for me if the doctor has all the same parts. I know its just psychological, but being comfortable with your doctor is important.
Last year I had my yearly exam and I'd been talking to Tony about how uncomfortable it is to put your legs in a set of stirrups and pretend you're anywhere but where you are. But Tony's been through so much medically that I don't think he even feels it anymore. I was relating this to my doctor and she told me this funny story.
Apparently when a man hits forty they have to have a rectal exam. She told me that one man fought her tooth and nail about doing it. He ended up relenting and letting her just getting it done and over with. Then she told him he should be thankful his doctor was a woman and when he asked why, she told him it was because she has small hands!
Of course she told me this whole story while she was down there doing those things with clamps and cotton swabs and such. Uncomfortable... But my doctor has a way of making me more at ease. And I know part of it is that she is a she!
I've looked at all of the fertility specialist covered under my insurance. None of the reproductive endocrinologists in the area are female. None of them. I find this fact surprising. But there it is. I guess its just time for me to get over my discomfort with a male doctor. And if I can't, I'll just have to grin and bear it. But I still wish Dr. C wasn't a he...
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